How To Be Nicer: Tip #3

Tip #3: Don't be so jealous.
First of all, I realize that not all jealousy is necessarily bad. I'm mostly talking about jealousy causing hatred, so keep that in mind, please. So, moving on.
Jealousy isn't cool. It can make us hate someone for no reason, bring us unnecessary enemies, ruin relationships, and turn friends into 'frenemies.' Almost everyone is gets at least a little jealous once in a while. I would say that maybe being a little envious isn't so bad, but when you start to resent someone for something they have that you don't, it becomes a problem. (Read: Envy vs. Jealousy.)
Jealousy seems to cause a lot of problems. How many people are actually nice to someone they're jealous of? Not fake-nice, but sincerely nice? As in, you're jealous of someone (which means your resentful), but you still really like them. Those two things just don't seem to go together, in my opinion.
Sometimes the reason for your jealousy isn't even "real." For example, someone gets jealous because their significant other is talking to someone else who you feel is somehow in competition with you. This may not be the case at all, which would mean you're feeling jealousy and hate towards someone for basically no reason. Or, maybe your best friend (forever) has recently been hanging out with someone else a lot. So, you get jealous and, again, possibly see this person as your competition because he/she is "stealing" your best friend. Unlikely. This kind of jealousy is often the result of fear, low self-esteem, or low confidence, among other things similar to those.

People aren't just "stolen" from you by someone "better." In these two scenarios, you'd probably be blaming the wrong person. But, let's save that subject for another post. I guess my point here is that most people your jealous of (if you're jealous of people in this way) are not your competition. Why not befriend them instead of hating them for something they aren't trying to do?

So, what about jealousy over other things? Well, I would certainly I hope that you wouldn't resent someone so much over an object, but I know it happens. It's okay to want something that someone has, for the most part, but it's not okay to dislike them because they have it and you don't.

I admit that I've been jealous before. Of course. Who hasn't? But if I find that jealousy is creeping up, I remind myself that there's no reason to blame that person. They haven't actually done anything, have they? I can accept that I want something, but I realize that I can't resent someone for having something that I don't. I think, if anything, I mostly only get envious now-- but many times that envy motivates me to actually do something about it.
Jealous Green-eyed Monster. (Yes, I
drew this for you with my oh-so-
amazing drawing skills. Like it?)
You see, there's always something to be jealous of. If everyone just let that jealousy rule their lives, we wouldn't have any friends, and there wouldn't be any kindness in the world. (Excuse me for the tackiness.) You might be jealous of someone, but chances are someone else is jealous of you. Think about all of the envy-worthy things you have before you decide to become jealous. (Oh look, more positive thinking.) And think about how you would feel if someone resented you for simply having something, or being accused for something you didn't even do. Think about what you're jealous of, why you're jealous, and whether it's a good reason to be jealous or not. (Chances are, it's not. At least try to change that feeling of jealousy into envy, instead. But don't be hateful.) Is hate ever a good thing?

Don't worry, there are ways to overcome jealousy. (If there weren't why would I write about it?) Here's an article that can probably help you overcome jealousy a little better than I can.

As always, I want to know how you feel about the post. Do you get jealous easily? Do you think jealousy is okay? And, have you ever been the cause of someone's jealousy. Please feel free to share all thoughts and opinions.

Oh, and I almost forgot: Today is the blog's month-iversary! Hurray!


  1. Your drawing is adorable! Love the green monster.

    I think I tend to internalize whatever jealousy I might have. I can't remember the last time I ever talked about it (and I'm one of those people who tends to be very frank and vocal about my feelings!) It doesn't happen very often, though. Most people I could be jealous of become my inspirations & help me figure out my ambitions these days, the same way envy motivates you! Thanks for the thought-provoking post, it's something I haven't reflected on in a while :)

  2. Thanks! I couldn't find any good pictures, so I just made one, haha.

    I'm glad jealousy isn't a problem for you, because it seems to be a very common issue for others. The more people who don't get very jealous, the better! You're welcome, and I'm so glad you liked the post.

  3. I like your tips!

    I was really happy when I first read a couple of the others a little while ago. Then I forgot your page and got sad, then I found it again! :D

    Anyway, I've been trying to reform myself internally recently. I over think my motivation for things and it stresses me out. I don't understand why being nice comes so hard. Like, I'll do something nice and then I'll over think it and make myself believe that I did it for the wrong reason...and then I just feel bad about it. Maybe I just think too much. Alright, enough rambling!

    I can't wait for your next tip.

  4. Thanks! And I'm happy you found it again (of course)!

    That's good; I think everyone could use a little self-reforming once in a while. Try not to feel bad about being nice-- it's always a good thing. Even if you do something nice for the wrong reason, it's fine. I bet whenever you've done something nice, even for the wrong reason, it made that person's day just a little better.

    Sometimes I feel like I did something nice for the wrong reason, too. But it's better than doing something mean for any reason.

  5. Wow great post!

    I think you have a very cool blog! A lot of interesting topics, such as this one.

    Keep writing!

  6. hey the first thing u can do to be nicer is to act differnt around ur friends or not friends i learned while i was going threw a hard time with this so just try to do something nice to somebody like ur friends and teachers and ur parents and evem ur sisters and brothers.

    1. its me again the same person i got a questin answer if u know a answer ok so i keep hugging my english teacher and i know she hates it what should i do i know all of u are going to say stop hugging her i need something ealse


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